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"They can be smiles, eye contact, hugs or touching, verbal comments like 'I agree with that' or 'good point' or even the word 'yes.' Listening, agreement, appreciation, affection -- those all send out positive energy that envelop both people in sunshine." Those gestures remind both partners that they like each other, and friendship is at the heart of successful marriages, Karam says.
Married people often "operate on out-of-date knowledge of self," he says, leading them away from true appreciation of their partners.
What we know about marriage satisfaction is that it takes a massive dip when the first child is born. it would help them navigate normal roadblocks and not freak out when it happens." No matter who's speaking, man or woman, tone of voice can be an issue if it's tinged only slightly with negativity.
If you have concerns, Heitler encourages "verbalizing them in a respectful way," rather than speaking in a frustrated, irritated voice. But do it in a way that searches for solutions and alternatives, rather than venting in a way that puts a peaceful solution further out of reach.
It might be useful to take a hard look at what is fixed -- personality quirks, for example -- and what can be changed.
Some women tend to be "all about him" rather than all about themselves, as men tend to be, Heitler says.
Some women get so focused on kids, work, and home that they forget to make the small gestures that go a long way to solidifying their marriage.
"In healthy relationships, there are dollops of positivity, very frequently doled out," Heitler says.
It is far from surprising that pilgrimage became a popular form of religious expression for Christian women – journeying in search of a cure or divine intervention had been popular among women for centuries, as the fourth century BC cure lists from Epidauros in Greece demonstrate.
However, it becomes clear from some objections registered by prominent Church leaders, that the religiously charged environment in which pilgrimage took place did present pious women with obstacles in their quest for their objective.